I’ve been talking about my new philosophy in relation to my writing. A little at a time goes a long way. So far, I’m finding it to be true. I don’t write quite as much as I thought I would, but when I do managed it. Whoo hoo!!!!
Yesterday, however, I came to realize the hardest part of this new approach. I was on my lunch break, I took care of the dogs, my husband and I had a conversation then he went back to work. I sat down at the computer and started working on Surrender. Did a fast read through to solidify it in my mind then started writing….
I was almost late getting back to work.
*Sigh* When I’m in that groove, the story line is rocking, the main character Natasha is talking, stopping is akin to agony. I have to drag myself, literally, back to work fighting my depression and the urge to call in sick because I try to rationalize that if I was to have an hour more, maybe two, I could finish the first draft and move onto the second. I am on a time limit you know. I want to submit this story into a contest at Writer’s Digest. I have to finish it first, which I can’t do unless I write.
Incidentally, now that I think about it, I’m on the second draft. My first draft is inspiring my second, but I’ve decided to add a more visceral feel to Natasha’s last moments.
It plagues me, this constant desire to write. Turning it off so I can work and design a graphic or a web page for my boss is like trying to race an iceberg hoping it would melt before you hit it…. I understand the word plague gives it a negative light, but sometimes it feels like I’m fighting two sides of myself. The responsible side that says having a job is the right thing at the moment for a number of reasons against the creative. selfish side that throws a tantrum saying, “I wanna write! I’ve been waiting 8 years for the chance of having several hours of uninterrupted writing time without kids or husband clamoring for my attention. I want it! I want it!”
It’s true, that’s what I want, deep in my soul. As the title of my blog mentions, I have to write or I’ll go insane. Literally.
So I’m trying to find the easy medium between my conflicting sides with the hope that soon I’ll get what I want, I know that because every major aspect of my life has always come not when I wanted it, but when I was in the right place for it.
- Procrastination vs. Finding Your Groove (thewritersadvice.com)
- My six stages of writing (including the one in which I hide from Neil Gaiman’s rage) (michaeledwardkelly.com)