A poetry attempt


SO – I’m horrible at poetry.  It rarely rhymes and it doesn’t follow any of the rules of poetry.  It’ll never be published beyond my blog and I’ll certainly never win any awards from it.  That’s fine, never wanted to be a poetry writer anyway.  In a vain attempt to write something I decided to take something that was said to me and running with it.  Poetry is supposed to be about emotion and all that fun stuff.  Short stories have ended me up in tears, and any attempt to use dialog has been a bitter failure for the last month.  As a result, I decided to try my hand at writing a poem.  It probably sucks, but I wanted to share it before I lost my nerve.

So be kind….

~

From one moment to the next
Pulsing deep in the chest
A hole that will not fill
A hole that will not heal

Time is funny, marching along
Up, down, all around goes the ants
Leading to disaster
Is it me or is it them?
Leading to the hole
That will not fill, will not heal

Thirty-eight days pass
Can’t write, can’t think
Barely do I eat
Focus only on the daily grind
Hoping to walk past the hole
That will not fill, will not heal

Be kind, be patient
Give yourself permission
To cry those tears
To bury yourself in the practical
So you don’t have to feel the hole
That will not fill, will not heal

Twist me around, the blender goes on
Rip, cut, spin, upside down still
Yet I throw out my arms
To stop the spin, so I can feel the hole
That will not fill, will not heal

News that is golden
Removing stress of a future
Shows me a message
Even when miserable
Good news can shine through

It doesn’t hide the pain
It doesn’t chase away worry
But it does prove that life goes on
That despite the hole in my chest
It will refill, it will heal

But only with time…

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22 thoughts on “A poetry attempt

  1. You are not horrible at poetry. This is beautiful and heartfelt and I hope that you got some benefit from being able to get some of that out there. I am proud of you Jess.

    • Thanks Jade, I wrote this based on what we talked about this morning. It did help and it came easily. It was very nice to have some of my own writing come with the same fluidity of the past. One more sign that it will get better. There is an after.

      Thank you so much.

      • You are more than welcome Jess and I am glad that our chat helped a little. Keep on writing – it doesn’t matter what it is, just let it all out. Thinking of you. x

  2. Poetry does not have to follow the rules that others make, it only has to be from your heart. In my opinion it needs to touch you in a way prose cannot. Your poem made me cry. I have felt the hole and survived. If your next poem is as heartfelt as this one you can touch the world.

    • Thank you for your kind words and sorry I made you cry. It’s nice to know that others have survived the hole. As for poetry, I’m very judgmental when it comes to my own which is why I think I do it horribly, but I’ll be sure to remember what you’ve said. Thank you again for reading it.

  3. Visiting for jades blog. Poetry does not have to rhyme, or be constricted to rules. Formats, structures. Prose, free write letting whatever is in your subconscious to be laid bare. The reputation works well in this Jess and there is the feeling of hopelessness. I particularly like the blender stanza. Well done…oh and don’t think about how poetry should be…just do it 🙂

    • I, too, like the blender stanza, it’s one of my favorites in the piece. I’ll try to remember what you’ve said about poetry, but I’m very picky when it comes to my own writing of it which is why I think I’m horrible at it. You are right in that it allowed the emotion to filter through in a way I hadn’t let in the last few weeks. Probably why it came so easily because I needed to remember to feel it.

      Thanks for reading and thanks for your wonderful words.

      • I am a fledgling, my wings still flapping about as I learn about poetry, my blog started with every day moments, family, parents but I found myself writing more and more poetry. Stream of consciousness writing, let if flow from the gut and the heart, then revisit and edit, if need be. We all chastise our own writing, but remember we aren’t the judges in the end, our readers are. Keep on going, do not think it as being not worthy or that you aren’t capable, for you so are 🙂 and you are welcome.

  4. Very nice! I will have to thank Jade for directing me to your blog! I like your poem, it’s written from the heart and that’s all that poetry is really, writing from the heart and soul.
    Lots of love
    Patty

    • Thanks Patty and thank Jade for me too while you’re at it 🙂 She’s a great friend and the one who inspired me to just let it flow for a poem. It was written from the heart and I appreciate all the warm responses I’ve been getting because Jade reblogged it. Thanks for reading and for liking my blog!

  5. Wow! If that’s your first attempt, I can’t wait to see what you write when you start believing in yourself more! And your inner critic isn’t doing you any favors. I look forward to seeing what comes of this new venture into this new mode of expression.

  6. OMG!!! This your first attempt??? I really can’t believe it…
    I am not good at poetry ( I suck 😛 ) so I cannot judge another’s work… 🙂
    But these here are my feelings…
    I have to say that these words run deep… And I know how you feel, I too think that my works are actually not that good… i always compare my works with others and I end up feeling depressed that I could never write like those people do…and I say to myself that I’m not fit to write/act/draw/anything that I’m interested in… and most of the time I leave it… only to come back far later to continue testing again… This process always continues… 🙂
    Truthfully, I clicked this link seeing the comment by Jade (in wordpres reader) which mentions that this poem is by a first-timer and I thought it might be very amateurish or sorts…I wanted to make myself convinced that I was better than this (sort of a selfish confidence booster) — I’m speaking from the heart, sorry — but, after reading this I just felt… I dunno… You are a natural poet and gifted one too… Not all can write with this depth — or is it meaning? I dunno — but do continue writing poems…
    Will check out more articles in this… And I must also read Jade’s blog too… Never ventured there quite recently…

    God Bless
    Aadi

    • Aadi, thank you for your comment and for sharing your thoughts. My attempts to write poetry in the past are few and far between and this is one of the very rare ones I have shared which is why Jade called it a first attempt. You have given me a lot to think about which is why I didn’t have a response until now.

      It sounds like you are still trying to find your way so I would like to give you a suggestion if that is alright.

      I have seen that many writers start due to being inspired by others. Kind of like “I want to write like Stephen King.” Or be as cool as him, etc. So we use him as a measuring stick, comparing or stuff to his or someone else but the thing is… We can’t do it. We will never write like someone else because how we see things or feel about something or even experience the same situation is different. Give two people the same topic to write about and you get two different stories. Is one better than the other? Maybe but then that is also subjective. If one is a thriller and the other is romantic than I would probably pick the thriller as being better because that is what I like while Jade for example will like the romance one because that is what she likes.

      My point is that while it may be hard to stop doing try not to compare what you write against others work. All that does is let that annoying super villain named Self-Doubt (he is real) a louder voice. Writing is hard enough but he makes it harder.

      I know that is easier to say than do, but I think if you try to only look at others as inspiration instead of as someone to compete with it may take a lot of stress off the process.

      If you want to continue to talk about it, let me know through my contact form and perhaps we can share a few emails. Ok?

      But thank you again for reading and for your comments. Keep writing and trying, and never stop, no matter how loud that villain hammers at you.

  7. Jess, Who said you are not a poet???!!!!! Brava! Those recurring words, “the hole that will not fill,” are captivating! The best of speech makers & preachers & WRITERS too use that device of repetition to get through to the reader/listener. ….It got through to me! Thanks to Jade bringing me to you! Phil from http://excuseusforliving.com/

    • Thank you, I’m glad you liked the poem. It comes rarely to me, the urge to write one so it’s nice to see that I’m not as horrible as I believed. Glad Jade brought you to me as well!

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