Is it just me, or does it feel like mother nature is having one heck of a tantrum, or perhaps she is going through an emotional bender?
For myself, personally, it’s been forever since I’ve felt this type of weather front. At least since I was a teenager. The difficulty is that, even I am sick of it, especially considering I enjoy winter so much.
I used to think it was due to being cold blooded, but now I realize that it is because I’m hot blooded. Hot… as in on fire? Perhaps, only the divine knows that, but that is not my point today.
As I’ve talked about in the past, I’m starting to push myself toward expanding my personal boundaries. Due to a situation going on in my life, I am forced into change. I’m having to adjust to a new situation that, frankly, it’s been years since I’ve had to deal with.
I am fortunate in that because of the military I have skills and techniques to deal with aspects of the changes I’m going through. I’m unfortunate in that I’m not completely sure what to expect. I can imagine, which I’m very good at doing thanks to being a writer, but I sometimes find myself imaging the worst case situation first before I get to the better parts.
Still, with this weather playing the yo-yo game between freezing and mildly cold, I find myself in a parallel with it. For a few days I’m in a good place, then I plummet into an emotional hesitation. The type where you feel tired all the time and lack a desire to stay motivated. The idea of wrapping myself in a blanket and staying there until the world, and my heart, dries out.
I suppose it is a good thing I can’t do that. I have responsibilities and they are two very adorable and helpful children, and I have dreams that I’m trying to pursue. So I get up when I’m in the dumps and keep moving forward, which is a lesson I’ve learned applies to both life and writing.
Speaking of writing, I’m back at it. I’m finding the usual speed and desire to be as strong as ever though I have to ration myself on the keyboard as I spend 8 hours at work typing then come home for another 30 minutes has my wrists feeling like they went rowing without me only to find class 5 rapids instead of calm waters.
In essence though, I’m finding a parallel between myself and the coming of spring. It’s a time of new beginnings, change, and growth. I find myself believing that of me, that I will start seeing the budding of flowers both on the ground as I walk around my new job and in myself. While I know it’s ridiculous to think that winter is hanging around to give me time to get my head and heart to where my soul and body are, in a way I feel like it does.
Then again, maybe I just want it to.
Whatever the case, in the hope of encouraging some of that spring energy into my life and into the home, the kids and I picked out some flowers. Unfortunately, someone at the store had the hair brain idea of coloring the white flowers to make them fuchsia. Why couldn’t they leave the flowers in their natural state???
Anyway, I am hoping that while it’s a small bit, seeing the flowers will be a psychological signal to my unconsciousness (and the kids) that it’s time to let spring take it’s hold in our home.