My Writing

Since this is a blog about writing, I figured I’d share some of it.  For now they are just short stories, essays from school, or articles written for an online club a year or so ago.  (Right now I have more essays than stories, but that’s gradually changing, ok?)

I’m always open for comments, suggestions, and insights as long as they are polite.  I don’t ask that everyone like them, but if you’re going to critique me do so with honor, be nice even if it’s a bad critique.  Telling me that it just sucks doesn’t help, provide useful reasons as to why you hated it or think it sucks.  Otherwise, please don’t.

In the comments box be sure to give me the title that you’re referencing so I can spend more time editing if necessary than trying to figure out just which one you’re talking about.

Thanks!

————-

Short Stories 

12:23
Carsten Boyer is a truck driver on the long haul.  He enjoys the solitude it gives him, lets him think and put life in perspective.  Until, he saw the lights – at exactly 12:23.

Freedom from Love
Lisa is confused and overwhelmed when her boyfriend, while away for a trip, tells her on the phone that he loves her.  Unsure of what to do, she follows her first instinct.

Focusing on the Past
An incident from my past.

Essays

I am a Science Fiction Nerd
An essay about being a Science Fiction fan.

Is the Grass Greener
An essay about the differences between being part of the Military or a Civilian.

Origin-ation
A comparison essay between the Star Trek the Original Series and Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Stem Cell Research Paper

Suicide Cause and Effect Research Paper

Water Sampling Essay

3 thoughts on “My Writing

  1. Hi! I hope this is the correct place to comment on your story 12:23. Please know that any of my comments below are meant in the vein of constructive critique and not meant to just put you down. I have both positive comments and some constructive ones. First off: GREAT JOB! You are writing and doing what needs to be done! Vast applause! It ain’t easy finishing.

    I really like your overall idea, I like the story and how it takes the simple situation of driving and overlays a much larger, universal, life and death, explanation of “The Universe” to it. I really like stories like that. I think your dialogue is good, at times it could be punched up a bit, a couple of times it seems a bit too “dreamy” (like towards the end when the back story is revealed. Just touches here and there. Character development wise, it seems to me at the end I am told why the truck driver makes his choice, but I would rather have learned from the story why he makes his choice, you know what I mean? For instance, at the end the truck driver asks [paraphrase] “Why choose me?” and the angel of death guy tells us why. I’m not sure if that “why” reason really comes out in the story in the character development. So, I think I’m saying the story focuses on the plot and could have more character development. Those are big stroke comments, I realize they may be vague.

    I also have to say that I did notice a lot of typos and comma mistakes. Okay, not too many typos. But I do suggest you review compound sentence comma rules and comma list rules. Especially the compound sentence comma rules, the joining of dependent clauses and/or non-dependent clauses with conjunctions. Check it out. Okay, I hope this is helpful and again, I write these comments with only respect and best intentions. Cheers!
    DC Curtis

    • Thank you so much for your review! It’s exactly what I was looking for in the way of input. I take both the good and the bad with the same mindset, that it helps. If someone does it to just be rude or mean then I get irritated, but what you’re providing is perfect. So, in answer…

      I’ll definitely take a look at including more within the story as to why Carsten is the right guy because, in thinking about it, I see that you’re right. I focused so much on what was happening, I left out why it was happening to him specifically which is an important aspect to the story at large. Shame on me 🙂

      As for the grammar, I’m not surprised. It’s my weak point in relation to writing. If you could suggest a good site or program to help me overall I’d greatly appreciate it! The more help I get the merrier I say.

      Again, thank you, thank you, thank you! Your comments are wonderful and helpful 🙂

      Cheers
      Lady Kins

      • Hi! So glad you found my comments helpful.

        No shame on you at all! It’s why we write and then rewrite. I like how you state your thoughts about including more on why Carsten is the right guy specifically. As writers, we have to always know why the story is happening right now, why the story MUST be happening now. Think also about how the story has to happen to him only, and how it has to happen to him right now in his life. A year before or after and he might not be ready for it. So why is he ready now? The universe of your story has aligns with the characters and the plot to make all of it happen for god reasons. But the plot just does not happen, Carsten lives in it and makes it happen. I think you did well with that aspect of Carsten making things happen. He drives, he looks, he’s curious, he acts and takes action. That’s all great. You’re really close. [and sorry for my overuse of the word “happen”]

        Grammar wise, ah, that’s a tough one. I teach high school English, and I write, so I’m really a nitpicker. I don’t know of a specific program, but there is a book I LOVE, it’s called PAINLESS GRAMMAR by Rebecca Elliot. Its format is great because she has the topics arranged really well. She gives short, concise descriptions and examples. Plus, she uses a lot of dry wit and humor. Her jokes are corny, but I think she does that on purpose because it works. Whenever I have a question, I go to this book.

        Great commenting with you!

        DC Curtis

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